The Ultimate ZAP!

Gallery Article by Dave Bailey (aka The Rat) on Jan 3 2010

Silly Week 2010

 

It was perhaps inevitable that when such an advanced bomber as the Handley Page Victor was introduced into service it would be tested in roles for which it was not designed. After HP test pilot Johnny Allam achieved Mach 1.1 in a very shallow dive the RAF crews were determined to wring every bit of performance they could out of this exotic looking machine, and the creativity among them is legendary.

Thus it was that in December 1957 shortly after its introduction with 232 Operational Conversion Unit an excuse was found to take a B1 on a trip to Goose Bay, Labrador, on the pretence of cold weather testing and a Christmas goodwill trip. Armed to the teeth with their NATO duty free tickets the target for that night was actually the base liquor store, with a mind to a high-speed restocking of the mess back in the U.K.

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Upon arrival the initial reaction of the RCAF personnel was unbridled jealousy. Whispers were that the upcoming Avro Arrow could catch anything made now and in the foreseeable future, but here was a big brute of an aircraft that could certainly give present-day fighters a run for their money. After the requisite low passes that the RAF enjoys so much it found Terra Firma and parked close to the ogling multitudes. "Looks as mean as a bloody wolverine!" exclaimed one crusty old Flight Sergeant, and the name stuck. That, however, was not good enough. In the minds of the assembled gawkers the RCAF simply had to possess one, and a plan was hatched.

The Victor’s crew were trooped, with no resistance whatsoever, to the Officer’s Mess and entertained in the grandest manner. The Victor was towed to the paint shop. After darkness had fallen the rest of the plan was enacted. The well lubricated crew was escorted through a blinding snowstorm to their quarters, drunkenly oblivious to two things; the clear weather forecast they had received for the next three days, and the dozens of base workers on the roof cheerfully sweeping mother nature’s recent bounty of snow down upon their heads. After consultation with the base commander the Met office then issued a report of a rare winter hurricane travelling between Labrador and Greenland, contrasting with ideal conditions for ice fishing to the west. A vehicle was procured, augers, tackle, and victuals loaded, and the RAF lads were introduced to another Canadian tradition.

The result of two days of labour brought a tear to the eyes of all who saw her. An RCAF Wolverine, resplendent in grey/green camouflage complete with Maple Leaf roundels, was brought into the cold crisp air of a bright winter morning, with a drill team escort carrying hockey sticks at the shoulder and marching to the music of Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians. The crew of this most graceful bird accepted the hoodwinking with very good nature. They had been treated to a wondrous weekend, a prank had been pulled, and when the carpenters showed up with a hastily customized cargo pannier to hold tons of booze in the bomb bay honour had been fully satisfied. The Wolverine’s service with the RCAF was brief, but memorable.

This was the first 'What If' that I ever completed, back in 2004. For years I hadn’t the foggiest notion who manufactured this model. I bought it through mail order back in the early seventies, with no idea as to the quality. It came bagged, but whatever paper or cardboard piece may have held it closed has since disappeared into the ether. But cruising the HyperScale discussion board one day I noticed a posting about Lincoln International kits, and a reply to it from one Matt Hopson was very helpful. It seems to be their Victor alright, and they made some other interesting stuff as well, such as a 1/160th Vickers Valiant and 1/144th Sunderland and Rotodyne. If I could own those moulds I would be in heaven!

Instructions are a simple exploded drawing and the decals can charitably be described as crap. Thirteen pieces altogether; fuselage halves, four wing pieces, three for the tailplane, cockpit glazing, pitot tube, and a two-piece stand. No gear, no interior, nose glazing represented by depressions. Roundels and number are represented by raised lines. Checking the dimensions gives it a scale of about 1/153rd. I think it may be the same model used in that cinematic classic ‘Gammera the Invincible!’, where Victors of some variety definitely appear in the opening scenes. The kit seems to represent a B1, which unlike all subsequent versions was not equipped with the heat exchanger intake at the base of the vertical stabiliser which cooled the ECM equipment.

Way back when I got it the idea of building an interior was not even considered, and I didn’t bother with trying to make the engine intakes realistic. I did however grind off the raised markings, and carved out the nose windows. These were filled with good old Elmer’s glue, which for some reason did not dry clear. The pitot tube has gone missing and was replaced by scrap. Aileron, flap, and elevator lines are recessed, but in this scale I was not about to scribe panel lines.

Just about done, and tragedy befell me. Enemy forces of unknown origin, but believed to be a cat or a cleaning lady, knocked it off a shelf and broke the port tailplane about halfway in, and the pitot tube. I didn’t bother replacing the length of pitot because I was going to shorten it to just about where it broke anyway. The problem was the tailplane. After tearing apart the most recent vacuum cleaner bag I determined that it has disappeared into some uncharted region of intergalactic space. I had to fashion another out of scrap plastic, and do my best with my limited skills to blend it in evenly. You can still see the scar if you look closely, maybe one day I will try to smooth it out a bit better.

The comment in the story about the wooden cargo container is based on a true incident. Back in the 70’s I was working with Airfield Maintenance at Pearson International Airport, and one evening shift a fireman dropped in from next door to say that he had heard a Vulcan was coming in on its way back from a Red Flag exercise. Sure enough it arrived about half an hour later, and I went over for a look. As I wheeled the truck up, camera in hand, one of the crew was ascending a ladder into the bomb bay, which actually did have a wooden cargo pannier. Walking under the belly of the beast I snapped a photo of him taking out a case of Bell’s Scotch (for a wee party at the hotel?), but unfortunately the lens was not wide angle enough to fully catch the humorous aspect of the situation; standing near the foot of the ladder was a customs officer who asked the standard question "Anything to declare?" The crewman must have had ‘big brass ones’ because while cradling the crate of whisky he casually looked back over his shoulder and replied "No". My hero!

Paints are Model Master Acryl brushed on. Underside is #4765 Light Grey, topside is #4779 Schwarzgrau and RAF Dark Green. Roundels and fin flashes were salvaged from a Hobbycraft F-86F Sabre, and as you can see they have silvered a bit since application. I tried to use the original kit decals for the identity number, but they turned to wet powder. Rather than trying to paint the canopy frames I decided to simply use a black ‘Sharpie’ permanent marker.

Dave Bailey

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Photos and text © by Dave Bailey